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If your repeatedly tell yourself that you’re lacking in some way, guess what? You will feel as though you are! What you feed your mind is important as it directly affects your mindset – and mindset is everything! Have you ever caught yourself in the “if” and “when” trap… You know the one- the grass is always looks greener on the other side right? …
“I’ll only be happy when I have more money and can afford nicer things”
“If I could just lose 5kgs I’ll be soooo much happier”
“When I have more money to buy nice things and I’ve lost some weight, someone might love me”
It’s an easy space to fall into, especially when we feel like our life isn’t shaping up the way we imagined or hoped it would. When we place the blame in these specific areas of our lives, we assume that we are missing something fundamental and that our happiness is entirely dependent on having just that one extra puzzle piece fall into place – something external.
The problem with this line of thinking is that it can assume that our ability to achieve these things may be somehow outside of our control, meaning that if we fail it’s not our fault. It creates a level of internal dissatisfaction that never really resolves until we address the underlying issue…
MINDSET.
Why mindset is everything
It’s true that we all have our own set of emotional baggage, unresolved childhood trauma and/or daily stressors, but the one thing that we can learn to master is our mindset in the here and now. And while it won’t cost you a cent, it will take practice. Your mind is a muscle just like any other and if you want your mind to support you in a way that is positive and focused on achieving your goals, then you need to exercise this muscle and train it to respond the way that you want it to.
Carol Dweck, leading Stanford professor of psychology, says that when it comes to mindset we can split it into two types- those with a fixed mindset and those with a growth mindset. The way that each type choose to respond to any given task or situation can be vastly different. Consider the proverb:
Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words.
Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions.
Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits.
Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character.
Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny.
In other words, where our focus goes our energy flows.
If you consider that your mindset is a lens through which you view the world, then in theory if you want to change your mindset all you need to do is change your perspective. Simple, right? Maybe not at first, but it definitely can be if we put in the effort. Just like losing weight – these things take time. If you’ve spent years with negative thought patterns dictating your actions, then you can’t expect to undo this overnight. So, where do you begin?
Keep reading for my top 5 ways to flip the switch on your negative mindset habits!
Observe your inner critic
Pay attention to what you’re telling yourself and write it down- journaling is especially helpful with this. Use a digital journal, your phone’s note app or invest in a nice aesthetically pleasing journal that will make you want to reach for it and start writing. (Check out my top 5 options here). Don’t over complicate this process, you literally just need to write down and observe the thoughts as you notice them. Learning to be a curious observer of your own thoughts is truly one of the greatest skills you can learn.
Be analytical
List the reasons why you believe this thought to be true and be HONEST with yourself- what’s the evidence for and against this thought. For instance- if you tell yourself that you probably won’t get the promotion you’re aiming for because you’re not experienced enough, then make a list of your skills and achievements and check them off against the job requirements. If you find it difficult to analyse yourself this way, enlist the help of your partner, spouse or a trusted friend or colleague.
Re-frame it
Write down a way that you can re-frame that thought from a different perspective. Remember the fixed vs growth mindset? We’re aiming to re-frame your thoughts to look at things from a growth perspective, rather than from a fixed mindset. Take a look at these examples:
Audit the information you’re feeding your brain
Notice what you’re feeding your brain on the regular- are you following accounts on social media that make you feel bad about yourself or sad about what you haven’t achieved? Unfollow. What type of people do you surround yourself with? The prerequisite for spending time with someone should be that they nourish and inspire you. Seek out those who feed your flame. Start investing in your mind by reading books that empower you to believe in yourself and view the world as full of possibility. Need some reading ideas? – see my roundup of some of the best here.
Meditate
Honestly – I know this isn’t for everyone, but if there is one simple thing that you can do for yourself that can have a profound impact on your brain’s ability to slow down and focus, it’s meditating. You’re literally training yourself to be able to listen to your thoughts and then let them just pass by. Tim Ferris who has interviewed hundreds of the world’s most successful people says that at least 80% perform some type of daily meditation or mindfulness practice. Like anything, in order to get the benefits, you need to commit to it for at least 7 days. Not sure where to start with meditation- read my post on the best apps and guided meditations to get you started here.
Remember that when you decide to embark on something that seems big and overwhelming, you only really need to commit to taking that very first step and the rest will eventually follow. If you’re going to build a wall you don’t start out by trying to do it all at once. You start by laying a brick. And then you repeat this action consistently. And eventually you have a wall. The same goes for changing your mindset – consistency is key.
Have you got any recommendations for soul nourishing reading, podcasts or interviews that reinforce your positive mindset? Let me know in the comments below.
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