How To Survive the Holidays Sober While Keeping Sane

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Trying to stay sober during the holiday season can seem like an impossible task for many of us. Family conflict, end of year stress and holidays crowds can all be headache inducing and have you wanting to reach for a drink. And there’s no end of opportunities with end of year drinks, Christmas parties and New Year’s celebrations galore. But if you’ve made the choice to stay sober for whatever reason, then you need to be prepared for the holiday season. These tips will help keep you on track with your goal to survive the holidays sober.

Make the Sober Commitment to Yourself and Make it a priority

Sometimes it’s hard to start making change for fear of what other people might think. But when it comes to staying sober, only you can make the decision and commitment to yourself. No matter when anyone else might think, this has to be something you believe is best for you. Once you have made the commitment to yourself mentally, you can focus on getting your actions to follow. Mindset is a powerful thing, so once you plant the sober seed, you need to nurture it and help it grow. But this can work in reverse too. If you let that thought enter your mind about “just one drink” then you’ve mentally already broken your commitment.

So, make the commitment. Read on the learn my best tools and tips to support your commitment to staying sober over the holidays.

enlist the help of a sober friend at social events

With the festive season comes social events and parties galore! For anyone trying to stay sober, this can be a very challenging time of the year with temptation everywhere. Having a sober friend can be super helpful at times like these. It can ease the tension of having to mingle with acquaintances, make chit-chat with creepy uncle Bob or fend off not-so-subtle comments from colleagues speculating about whether you might be pregnant! Because god forbid you might want to lay off the booze for health reasons. Having a sober friend who knows your goal can also help keep your accountable. You could also volunteer to be the designated driver for friends who are drinking as an added level of accountability.

keep a non-alcoholic drink in your hand at all times

The festive season is all about parties, letting loose and cheersing the year that has been. But what about those who don’t drink alcohol? What can they do to avoid the awkwardness of being sober in a tipsy environment? Keeping a drink in your hand is an excellent way to avoid that ever-awkward, “can I get you a drink?” question that inevitably comes when you’re empty handed.

Keeping something non-alcoholic in your hand for when the pressure kicks in is an excellent strategy. Mocktails are a great way to satisfy your thirsty needs without sinking into temptation. A soda water and lime can easily be passed off as vodka and lime if you’re not ready to announce your sobriety to the world. If all else fails you can always speak quietly to the bartender and ask them to make you a non-alcoholic alternative if someone is buying you a drink. Bartenders can be your absolute best friend in tour quest to stay sober and are always happy to assist.

have an exit strategy for when you are feeling overwhelmed

It is important to have an exit strategy when you are planning to stay sober. You need to have a polite way of saying goodbye and making sure that you have planned in advance for a quick escape if temptation kicks in. Sometimes, as time goes on the party begins to disintegrate. As the boozy haze kicks in, it will be easier for you to slip out without too much fuss. In this scenario, if you do need to leave you won’t have to think, you can just go. Make sure you have some yummy food and a book or a movie waiting for you when you get home. This will prevent you from feeling lonely, which is another common trigger for people struggling with sobriety.

However, in a more civilized situation having a pre-planned reason to leave will be an essential part of your self-care plan. Perhaps your have another event to attend or maybe you are designated driver for your other friends who are ‘calling’. Whatever the reason, it can come in handy when you feel you and your willpower feel have reached your limit. And there is absolutely no shame in this. You are simply honoring your commitment to yourself. A year from now, no one will remember if you left the party early but you will remember if you broke your promise to yourself. Being selfish is self-care and necessary.

Remember why you started the sober journey

It can be really difficult to be the only sober person in the room, especially around the holidays. New Year’s eve when everyone else is toasting the end of another year and you’re drinking soda water is particularly challenging! But this is when you need to hold on to the reasons you started and lean into that feeling. . This will be different for everyone, but it is important for you to be clear about this point when times get tough. It takes persistence, courage, confidence and determination. For some it may be for health or weight loss, while for others it could be more deep seated and related to insecurities, addiction or childhood trauma. Regardless, be clear about what staying sober means to you.

SOME OF MY REASONS FOR STARTING:

– I deserve a happy and healthy life without negative consequences, without feeling ashamed or embarrassed

– My energy levels increase when I stay sober

– Quality sleep feels so amazing and the longer I go without drinking, the better my sleep becomes

– I love looking in the mirror and seeing clear skin and bright eyes

– My genetics do not dictate my future

understand your triggers for wanting to drink

There are many triggers that can make it difficult for us to stay sober. It is important to understand these triggers and have an arsenal of coping mechanisms ready to deal with them when they emerge. There are so many different triggers for so many different people. It can be anything from being lonely to having a bad day to feeling stressed out. But the point is, if you’re aware of what your triggers are, then you’ll be able to take care of yourself when they happen before temptation takes over.

build your sober toolbox

Building a toolbox of go-to items or ideas is super helpful when cravings or temptation kicks in. It could be a physical bag of things you keep nearby or a list on your phone of helpful distractions. The tools that can help you might include:

• Self care items like tea, candles, bubble bath and your favorite magazines. I like to treat myself to things like a massage after-work as it helps me de-stress before I get home
• A list of your favorite podcasts or audio books to listen to while walking. While it may not be for everyone, I like to listen to Annie Grace’s ‘The Alcohol Experiment‘ on Audible. It helps me better understand the reasons behind drinking and why trying to use willpower alone is not enough. Doing this at the start of the day helps me to set my clear intention for the day about why I don’t want to drink.
• A binge-worthy Netflix series or book that you can’t put down. If distraction helps then go for it! While this might seem like an unhealthy substitute, now is not the time to try to be perfect in all areas of life. You just need to focus on whatever you need in the moment to help you reach this goal. So put on your favorite sweatpants, make some popcorn and settle in!
• Take up a new hobby to keep busy – maybe that means joining a sports team, redecorating a room in your home or starting your own online business. Choose something that resonates with you and put your energy into it.

prioritize self-care and things that bring you joy

Self-care is an important part of staying sober. It is also important for your physical and mental health. Right now is the time to focus on yourself, be as selfish as you need and find what brings you joy in life. When you’re happy in life and within yourself, you might find that alcohol is no longer filling a void. Use this holiday season to do some serious self-reflecting and choose to let go of things that are no longer serving you. For me that’s alcohol.

It’s important to remember also that you don’t have to consider yourself an alcoholic to make this decision. I certainly don’t feel I fall into that category but drinking has become habitual in a way that is not supporting my life goals. Staying sober over the holidays when I have more time away from work to focus on things that bring me joy just makes sense. I have more energy and clarity when I’m not drinking and who doesn’t want more of that?

When it comes down to it, be selfish; do what you need to do for yourself first before anything else. No one can control your happiness except you, so prioritize it!

Posted By: Justine · In: Life, Mindset